What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
