If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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