dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
