I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
