Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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