i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I have already put on my inside pants.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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