PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
