You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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