I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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