my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
