two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
