i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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