And the cops told us we were all naked.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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