He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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