he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
