So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
