this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
