his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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