How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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