is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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