If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
