clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
