Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
