She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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