I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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