there was a trapeze. enough said
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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