I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
