Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
