So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
