I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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