Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
