Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
