her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
