Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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