I feel like I'm in dance class right now
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
