Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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