My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
