OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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