you guys were way drunker than both of me
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
