so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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