last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
