laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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