i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
