Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
