I got chris browned last night
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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