everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
