Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
