Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
