I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
