sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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