Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
