I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
