she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
